tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, that's what i'm talking about. thank you, guys! that's a new york city crowd right there! welcome to "late night," everybody! [ cheers and applause ] fresh new show. fresh new show. welcome, everybody. we're gonna have fun tonight. how you doing? [ cheers and applause ] i can feel it. it's electric.

here's what people are talking about. last night, president obama and hillary clinton appeared on "60 minutes" for their first joint interview. it was a little awkward when they both showed up wearing the same suit. [ laughter ] it was just -- but they looked great. they looked fantastic. just weird. but in the interview, president obama poked fun at members of the press for speculating on the 2016 election, calling them incorrigible. and biden said, "wait, they have to wear diapers?" [ laughter ] that's not what the means. google it. [ light laughter ] some more political news. while speaking to fellow republicans on friday, mitt romney said that he's not going away, and he will continue to help the party. to which republicans said, "you got to pick one or the other." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i agree. did you guys hear about this? despite efforts to keep her performance a secret, details of beyonce's super bowl halftime show are starting to leak.

[ audience oohs ] yeah. she plans to perform crowd favorites like -- >> "single ladies." [ laughter ] [ scattered applause ] >> jimmy: as well as -- >> "bootylicious." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: so -- >> that'll be fun. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: this isn't good, guys. there are reports that chris brown punched r&b singer frank ocean yesterday. [ audience oohs ] you know what that means. they'll probably be back together in nine months. [ laughter and applause ] if you learn one thing about history -- [ applause ] get this. last week, iran launched a monkey into space, and it actually returned to earth alive. [ light laughter ] it was great news for the space program and terrible news for the monkey who thought he'd finally got out of iran. he's like -- [ laughter ] "you got to be kidding me, bro. this is, like, crazy. give me a banana. i'm so upset, i'm not even going to throw my poop. i'm so mad.

i can't believe i'm back here." you guys, today is the 200th anniversary of the classic jane austen novel, "pride and prejudice." [ cheers and applause ] fans of the novel celebrated the way they always do -- reading about halfway through, then giving up. [ laughter ] check this out. a man in florida was arrested last week for stealing 166 manhole covers. the guy is now facing time in jail, where he'll really wish he had one of those manhole covers. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] and finally, the house of representatives voted last week to temporarily suspend the nation's debt ceiling, delaying the fiscal battle for a few more months.

you know, i was going to make a joke about this story, but i don't think it needs a joke. i think it needs to be slow jammed. you know what i'm talking about, tariq? >> yeah, jimmy. [ cheers and applause ] i think you're saying you'd like to "slow jam this news." >> jimmy: that's right. i want to slow jam the news, and i'm not the only one. [ cheers and applause ] >> hello, i'm brian williams of "nbc nightly news" and host of nbc's "rock center," and i, too, would like to "slow jam this news." >> jimmy: hit me three times! ♪ ♪ >> less than a month after signing a fiscal cliff deal and narrowly averting a financial crisis, the obama administration once again finds itself locking horns with republicans over the issue of raising the debt ceiling -- the amount of money the nation is legally allowed to borrow.

>> jimmy: oh, yeah. [ laughter ] when it comes to raising the debt ceiling, the president's having a hard time getting it up. [ laughter ] seems the gop ain't rubbing him the right way, especially with the country $16.4 trillion in debt. ♪ so we're still in debt but it's all right the united states clearly couldn't get any broker ♪ ♪ got to liquidate its assets just like al roker ♪ [ laughter and applause ] ♪ >> while most republicans oppose raising the debt ceiling, several have voiced dissension within gop ranks, and democrats are now hoping this will pressure their house leader, john boehner, and soften his hard-lined stance. >> jimmy: mm mm mm. take it from my man, brilly willy.

ain't nothing worse than a soft boehner. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] ain't nothing worse. especially when it starts leaning a little to the left. [ laughter ] and it's going to take more than a magic pill like the trillion dollar coin to stimulate growth in the private sector. ♪ all up in that sector our economy could really use a shot in the arm ♪ ♪ it sounds like a job for lance armstrong ♪ [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> now, for his part, president obama has repeatedly said he will not negotiate with republicans over this issue. he's made it clear he's willing to bypass congress and increase the debt ceiling by executive order if necessary. >> jimmy: you ain't lying, honey bri bri. [ light laughter ] the president's got the bill in

his hands. all it needs now is his john hancock. ♪ whipping out his hancock ♪ [ laughter ] >> jimmy: obama's got republicans in a compromising position. and now, he's ready to push his package through congress. ♪ ah push it push it good ah push it ♪ >> push it real good! [ laughter and applause ] ♪ obama's unwillingness to back down on this issue has left the gop handcuffed, helped in no small way by the president's strong backing from prominent democrats, including senate majority leader dick durbin. >> jimmy: hey, hold on. hold up. you gonna roll up in here talking about handcuffs and dicks? [ light laughter ] >> how was third grade, jimmy? ♪ 50 shades of brian williams ♪ >> members of congress have a big job to do.

>> jimmy: it's time to come together and raise the roof! ♪ the debt clock is rising there ain't no denying the deadline for action is on the horizon ♪ ♪ and partisan bigwigs is spreading like the flu ♪ >> jimmy: and that is how we "slow jam the news." >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: brian williams and the roots! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ i -- i got it, i got it made

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, we have a great show tonight! we always love it when he stops by. he is the man from "nbc nightly news." brian williams is back on the show. [ cheers and applause ] we love him. he's worth what we pay. he played schmidt on the hit tv series, "new girl." max greenfield is here! [ cheers and applause ] and if you enjoy music -- gosh, if you like music -- if you like rock 'n' roll music -- we have a legend here tonight. eric burdon is on the show! [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: what? >> jimmy: you can't beat that. you guys, the super bowl is this weekend. i want to remind you about this cool interactive thing that we're doing with the gregory brothers. these are the guys behind

"auto-tune the news." they're genius. oh, they're brilliant guys. so we're teaming up with those guys. this is called "late night super fan super cuts." all right? so last week, we asked you to take a video of yourself wearing your favorite football stuff. t-shirts, jerseys, face paint, body paint, whatever you want. yeah. then, we asked you to record a nice "whoo" for the camera. let's try it together. can you do -- whoo! >> whoo! >> steve: whoo! >> whoo! >> jimmy: yeah, that's perfect. so we already got thousands of videos and great whoos, but -- >> whoo! >> jimmy: thank you. but now, what we really need -- we need videos where you say something about why you love your team. and something that can sound like a really cool song lyric. it can be, like, "i love football!" or, you know -- or, "this game's going to be super, oh!" yeah. >> steve: whoo! >> jimmy: or you don't even have to sing. you can do whatever. and your team doesn't have to be in the super bowl. doesn't matter. this is for all fans. so we want to see lots of different teams represented. so upload your video saying a line, saying anything.

saying what you like to do during the big game. whatever. how you root for your team or why your team is great or why your city is great. upload it to youtube with the title "my late night super cut." and then, we're going to hand them over to the gregory brothers. we're going to make your videos into something really awesome. and we'll premiere the finished product right here on "late night" this friday night. it's going to be awesome. [ cheers and applause ] >> whoo! >> steve: whoo! >> whoo! whoo! >> jimmy: guys, i've noticed this trend on facebook where people will post an image of an inspiring quote on their wall for everyone to see. >> steve: yeah, i love that. >> jimmy: i love reading them. sometimes i'll read one, and i'll think, "did they really say that?" [ light laughter ] and it can be hard to tell. no one checks these quotes to see if they're real or not. >> steve: right. >> jimmy: i'll show you guys what i'm talking about in this next segment called "don't quote me." ♪ don't quote me 'cause i'm -- ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: like i said, for example, the first quote is from the greek philosopher aristotle.

he said, "love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies." [ audience aws ] sounds like he said that, right? that's sweet. i think he would say that. here's another quote from aristotle. "it takes two to make a thing go right. it takes two to make it outta sight." [ laughter ] now, i'm not sure. that's what i'm saying. that's what i'm talking about. i'm not sure he'd say that. >> steve: he might have. he might have. >> jimmy: i don't know. i didn't check. >> steve: i don't speak greek. >> jimmy: here's a quote from oscar wilde. he's a famous 19th century writer and poet. he said, "experience is simply the name we give our mistakes." that's a good way of looking at it. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: here's another quote from oscar wilde. "the other name we give them is lower back tattoos." [ laughter ] >> steve: now, he might have said that. that sounds like something he would say. >> jimmy: that's true. yeah. >> steve: lot of pip. >> jimmy: this next one is from french philosopher jean-paul sartre. he said, "hell is other people." [ light laughter ] >> steve: that sounds like something he'd say. >> jimmy: that's the real deal, right there. yeah, ain't that the truth? >> steve: he's got his pipe. >> jimmy: here's the quote from sartre's roommate. "living with you is no joyride either, buddy."

[ laughter ] calm down. yeah, yeah. >> steve: yeah, cool it. >> jimmy: you drank all my milk last week. yeah. >> steve: and how about toilet paper? >> jimmy: yeah, please. hello? [ light laughter ] this next quote is from honey boo boo. she said, "mama says pretty comes in all different sizes. my size is cute." she is super cute. i love her. >> steve: she's so cute. >> jimmy: here's another one from honey boo boo. she said, "mama also says, 'honey boo boo, please don't let them know that we're educated and well spoken, for america would be sorely disappointed. buffoons distract us from the anguish and gloom of our daily existence. it is our burden to lighten the mood of this crumbling, distressed society.'" [ cheers and applause ] mama june. mama june. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: she has forklift foot. she has forklift foot. >> steve: forklift foot? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. you didn't see that episode? >> steve: no. i didn't catch up on that episode. >> jimmy: you guys know what i'm talking about? [ cheers ] mama june has forklift foot and talks about it like it's something. >> steve: like it's something.

but no one knows what it is? >> jimmy: no, it's not a real thing. she made up a thing mama june has. and it's forklift foot. and so she goes to, like, a water park or something ridiculous. you know, like she would want to go to a water park. >> steve: right. >> jimmy: yeah, but the producers made her go -- the producers made her go to a water park. >> steve: okay. >> jimmy: so the poor thing's at a water park. she goes, "i don't want to take my socks off because i have forklift foot." [ laughter ] then, the kids are making fun of her. pumpkin -- that's my girl. i love pumpkin. >> steve: you love pumpkin. i know that. >> jimmy: yeah. we got any pumpkin fans? that's my girl. [ cheers ] pumpkin says, "come on, mama, just show the forklift foot." she goes, "what happens was --" i think she was at work, and a forklift ran over her foot. [ audience ohs ] and destroyed her toes or something. or mangled them or something. >> steve: mangled or smushed them in somehow. in some way that -- >> jimmy: she's fine. i mean, you can laugh at her because she's fine. >> steve: yeah. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: but then, she takes off her socks. >> steve: right. [ audience oohs ] [ laughter ] >> steve: you all right? you okay? [ laughter ] you good? it's okay.

>> jimmy: horrible! horrible! here's a quote from pope benedict xvi. this is actually his first post on twitter. "dear friends, i am pleased to get in touch with you through twitter. thank you for your generous response. i bless all of you from my heart." >> steve: aw, that's nice. >> jimmy: here's his second tweet. "she chugging that wine chalice like it's franzia. #signssheachurchho." what? [ cheers and applause ] that's why that's always trending. i never knew why. >> steve: that doesn't sound like him. i mean, he's german, sure. >> jimmy: this last quote's from lance armstrong. he said, "i'll spend the rest of my life trying to earn back trust and apologize to people for the rest of my life." well, that's -- >> steve: well -- >> jimmy: here's another quote from lance. "are there any drugs that can help me do that?" [ laughter ] that's all the time we have for "don't quote me." stick around. we'll be right back with brian williams, everybody. [ cheers and applause ]

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our first guest this evening is an award-winning journalist and the most distinguished news anchor in america. you see him at 6:30 every night on "nbc nightly news," and also on "rock center with brian williams," which is now airing fridays at 10:00 p.m. -- and it's kicking butt, by the way -- also on nbc. welcome back to the show, a good man. here's brian williams! ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about. that's what i'm talking about, buddy. nice to see you again. >> oh, thank you very much for having me back. it's hard coming off a slow jam to hear that description of me. it just doesn't work, but -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you did seem a little weird. you seemed a little weird backstage. i've got to say, this time -- this is the first time i've noticed that you were weird to me backstage. >> well i didn't -- >> jimmy: are you mad at me? >> no. i haven't been on in a long time. you've invited me, and something has come up. but it's -- >> jimmy: thank you for turning us down. i appreciate it. >> i don't know if we want to have this discussion with all these nice people listening, but it's -- and i don't mean to sound melodramatic, but -- >> jimmy: too late. >> this summer, you kind of insulted my family. [ audience ohs ] >> jimmy: what? >> it was june, and the date is indelible in my mind because of what happened. june 18th. my son's in college -- my son doug.

you know, his dad's kind of a big deal at nbc, so he -- and he never asks for anything from me. he and his girlfriend, kelsey, "we'd like to see fallon." and i arranged it, and got them better than average tickets. and he ended up with your ass in his face. >> jimmy: excuse me? >> yeah. we've got to have it. this is june 18th. okay, there he is. nice looking guy. backwards baseball cap. watch. your ass, purple shirt. and pretty much -- well, it was more of the crotchal region, but still. and there's his girlfriend, kelsey. you don't do that. i mean, this is a guest of the company. all the rows -- >> jimmy: the guest of the company? he's wearing a backwards cap like a street punk? >> yeah, all right. he hadn't shaved in a while, okay? he's 21. like, you know, choose another row, or go out and around people. show some -- >> jimmy: this is unbelievable. i've never seen you this angry. [ laughter ] big deal.

i grazed him with my crotch. >> this is the male -- >> jimmy: i didn't do it on purpose. >> you invite people to your house, and then, you know, do -- this is your house. this is our house. i helped build this house. >> jimmy: all right. all right. >> my kid on here, and show him the south side of fallon, if you know what i mean. >> jimmy: you know we love you. we love the whole family. you brought him back. >> yeah. doug's here tonight. >> jimmy: doug, where are you? doug. come on, doug. by the way, what school is he going to? he looks fantastic now. do you go to prep school or something? yeah. yeah, he looks -- clean shaven, tie. now he knows how to -- now he gets respect. >> yeah, he shaved. >> jimmy: we actually did hear about this earlier. so i wanted to apologize to you, doug. we're bummed out, so what i wanted to do -- i wanted to give you and kelsey a gift certificate for $250 to the palm

restaurant here in new york so you can go out with your girl. here to bring you the check is from shakey's all male dance revue. here's mystical mike, everybody. ♪ ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: all right. all right, mystical mike, thank you. doug, thank you. that's enough. get him out of here. get him out of here. there you go. brian, it is great to have you back on the show. and as always, the pleasure is ours. the pleasure is ours as always. pleasure is ours as always. >> why would you disrespect my family? what was that?! >> jimmy: it happened to be -- our gift certificate was sponsored by the male revue show. >> look at the boy's face. >> jimmy: no, he's actually -- he's not distraught. doug is fine. >> he can get that at home. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: brian, don't let him do that. i would never do that ever

again. >> the lush carpet of chest hair. >> jimmy: mystical mike was the guy's name, by the way. >> so you giveth and you taketh in the same show. >> jimmy: you have a list. >> yeah, a little bit. wow. >> jimmy: brian, can i get -- can we talk about some fun stuff here? >> that would be a first for this broadcast. [ audience ohs ] >> jimmy: unbelievable. i do want to talk about something. it's rare that we have a news legend on our show. >> who's coming out? >> jimmy: i would say you are a news legend. we love you so much. we watch you every single night. >> thank you. >> jimmy: and some of our audience out there, they want to know what's going on in the political world. >> i'm here. >> jimmy: what's happening. >> i'm yours. >> jimmy: i know you were at the inauguration. you were everywhere. >> yes. >> jimmy: i didn't see mitt romney at the inauguration. >> for the first time since michael dukakis, the challenger did not attend the inauguration. it's not written anywhere. you don't have to go. it's a thing. it's a respect thing.

but it's odd with mitt romney. he has disappeared from public life. he was at a dinner this past weekend in washington, but that was the first time people have seen him. unlike any other other-party candidate, the losing party in modern memory. it just -- it just happened that way. >> jimmy: i found that weird, too, when i was watching. i thought you'd at least see him show up or something like that. >> his son gave an interview to "the boston globe" and said his dad was never really that into the race for president. ann romney was very much into him being the next president. she believed in the campaign and the family and the goals. and yet, mitt romney has just kind of gone away. i don't know if he'll have a future influence on the party. >> jimmy: and what is going to happen to the republican party? i feel it's at a weird -- they're just going, do you want to run? maybe you? >> whenever a party is defeated, especially an incumbent president winning a second term, this is a common time. they kind of go off with their wounds, strategize. they have to decide who they are.

bobby jindal, the governor of louisiana, said at a party conference friday, "we have to stop being the stupid party." and people laughed in the room, and he said, "no, i'm serious. our ideas have to be smart." so, you know, leaders will emerge. if you really consider it an aspect of the election that chris christie and obama getting along allegedly hurt mitt romney, allegedly helped the president. if we're in that kind of a spot where after that hurricane hits my home state so badly and a republican governor and a democratic president can't get along to help people without 41,000 people out of their homes, then we've got bigger problems. we might, in fact, have bigger problems. >> jimmy: more with brian williams when we get back, everybody. ♪ ever since mom and dad have been working with viva, people have been daring them to clean up tough messes. [ phone ding! ] another dare. they're proving that viva doesn't play by the rules.

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. thank you so much for watching. we're here with the great brian williams. you can see him five nights a week at 6:30 p.m. on nbc. you do see him on "nbc nightly

news," as well as on "rock center with brian williams" on fridays now at 10:00 p.m. right here on nbc. i wanted to talk to you about this, because this is an amazing thing that you did. i was freaking out. you changed your e-mail. so i tried to e-mail you, it bounced back. thank you, by the way. >> i'm no longer partygirl99. >> jimmy: it's about time you changed that one. but you got to go to the war room at the white house with the president. >> the situation room. we asked him to stand -- he was in this small chair the night of the bin laden raid. it was a folding chair. he entered the room late, and everyone tried to get up and give him their chair. he said, "no, stay where you are." so we recreated in the actual situation room -- cameras had never been allowed in there. and i asked him and every participant at the table to recreate that night. what was going through your mind, what was the intel you were getting up on the screen. >> jimmy: the night they got osama bin laden. >> the night they got osama bin laden, which, of course, has become the film, "zero dark thirty." but the absolute nonfiction record of that night we already put on television at nbc news.

and it's fascinating. you realize that there were no sure bets going into that night. but you also realize our guys do between three and six extractions like that per evening some weeks. our special forces in afghanistan. and this is what they do, which is something "zero dark thirty" gets very accurately. >> jimmy: i didn't know what zero dark thirty meant. >> it's an expression that -- covering the military, i'd heard it a million times. you'll imbed with them, and they'll say -- you'll say what time does tomorrow start. they'll say zero dark thirty or oh dark thirty. and it just means so early you should be asleep already and you don't want to ask. >> jimmy: you don't even want to ask when it is. but to get the access in that room and to see everyone in there, it's a fantastic interview. >> it's incredible. you walk into that room, all your devices go into a converted cigar humidor. you open the lid. there's a whoosh sound machine and lead walls in this box so that no one entering could

possibly -- this was a problem with homeland this past season. could possibly send out a tweet, an e-mail, a text. all your devices are in a lead-lined box. there's no communications from that room except for the boss. >> jimmy: i've seen penn and teller do that trick. it's fantastic. it's really great. >> but a woman comes out. >> jimmy: a woman comes out, and it's really good. so, you get in there and you start talking. but why wouldn't you have just an empty chair always ready for the president? like, not a tiny folding chair? >> well, it's a working room. situation room since the cold war has been -- lbj used to go down there at night and inquire about bombing runs over vietnam. you know, it's where the military and the intel people hang out, so the president only runs sporadic meetings in there. >> jimmy: that was unbelievable. that was one of the most fascinating things i've seen you do. >> thank you very much. >> jimmy: congratulations. thanks for doing that. hillary in the room at the time. hillary clinton running 2016?

>> you know what? even the people close to her -- she's had a terrible injury here. you can see the left lens in her eyeglasses is not a normal lens. it's called a fresnel. it has slices in it because of double vision. she got sick, fell, took a very heavy fall, had a concussion. then the brain clot and had to go into the hospital. so she's trying to -- she's traveled a million miles under 21 nations, four years. i'm sure she'd like to relax a little bit. and we'll see what the democrats do. joe biden's been rumored. there's a long -- i was just about to say there's a long way between now and election day. really, there's two years. because two years from now, you got to start going to iowa, new hampshire, south carolina. dinner, dinner, dinner, breakfast, lunch. the iowa caucuses are a year before the election. we'll already be out in the cold. it really will be underway in just two years. i know it's depressing. i'm sorry. it's just the way our system works. >> jimmy: that's the way it works. isn't that unbelievable?

i wish it would change. because i just think it's a little too crazy. >> at least we have a lot to show for the $3 billion we spent on the campaign. >> jimmy: i know, exactly. it's kind of silly. you said on "rock center" -- you did a thing. you said this is the inauguration of the gif. >> absolutely. >> jimmy: the animated gif. >> gifs really loomed large. came to play this year. poor sasha obama. you put any kid at a boring event. what's going to happen to the human? you're gonna yawn. >> jimmy: you get a yawn. absolutely. >> so her yawn has been immortalized. >> jimmy: there's the yawn. yeah. >> this was up on the web, like, an hour after it happened. >> jimmy: looping. >> and then they went to lunch, and the first lady was between the president and speaker boehner. speaker boehner said something, first lady famously rolled her eyes. abc news hired a lip-reading expert, and they decided boehner made a joke about "don't you wish you could step out and have a cigarette with me?" 'cause boehner just, you know, two at a time. [ laughter ]

and we still don't know why she was rolling her eyes. >> jimmy: the last one needs no explanation, this gif, but you showed it, and i would like to show it here. check this out. >> yeah, this -- >> jimmy: look at the photo bomb! photo bomb! hey! photo bomb! >> i think he was just making sure she was in the right -- >> jimmy: of course. >> for her performance. >> jimmy: you're very good. that's right. our great brian williams. [ cheers and applause ] we love you so much. thank you. >> thank you, buddy. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: off to do your great work. max greenfield joins us after the break. stick around, everybody. ♪ [ male announcer ] oh, to suffer with dandruff that keeps coming back. women hate dandruff. but now, sad man, you're saved by an anti-dandruff shampoo. clear men with mint, ginseng and tea tree. clear men feeds your scalp and stops dandruff at the source. ♪ ahh, look at him now.

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is a golden globe and emmy nominated actor who stars in fox's hit show, "new girl," which airs tuesdays at 9:00 p.m. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome max greenfield! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: max, welcome to the show. max greenfield. >> i like the intro music. that was great. >> jimmy: yeah, you got it.

well, i mean -- congrats. we love what you do, man, on "new girl." >> thank you. >> jimmy: you got nominated for an emmy, a golden globe. >> it's nuts. >> jimmy: that is pretty great, buddy. >> yeah, crazy. >> jimmy: coming right out of the box. you deserve it. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. >> jimmy: this is the funniest thing. we were talking backstage. and the funny thing, your mom keeps your very grounded. >> yeah, well, you know, my mother's the first call after i get nominated for something like that. you got to call mom. >> jimmy: you have to. of course. >> so i got nominated for a golden globe, and the category is very interesting because it's supporting actor. and they just -- they cover everything. drama, movies, miniseries. it's the whole deal. >> jimmy: yeah. >> so she goes, "who are you nominated against?" and i go, "well, mandy patinkin." "you're nominated against saul?" [ laughter ] and i go -- i -- i -- >> jimmy: "homeland." >> yeah, "homeland." it's a great show. i know. i watch it. and she goes, "oh." and then -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: moms, right? >> yeah, and then i'm like, "and ed harris." >> jimmy: oh. >> and you could, like, literally hear her spit her, like, nespresso into the phone. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: nespresso. >> i don't know why i brought it -- but, they just got a

machine. they're very excited about it. >> jimmy: no! your mom knows how to use a nespresso? >> it's questionable at this point. >> jimmy: yeah. i mean, my parents would be freaked out because there's a robot in the house. they'd call the police if they has a nespresso in their house. >> but -- >> jimmy: but, i love -- >> but yeah. she was like, "you're never going to win." >> jimmy: no, but the emmys, though -- she called the emmys -- you're on -- well, you're going to the emmys. you go -- here we go. nominated. this is kind of cool, emmys. and she goes -- >> yeah, she was like, "well, you know, it's -- look, it's good just to be nominated. what an honor." [ laughter ] i go, "what do you think? i'm not going to win?" and she's like, "well, you know, that eric stonestreet. he's the full package." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: eric stonestreet's the full package. i love it. thanks, mom. >> yeah, so i'm at the emmys and -- you know, it was me and bill hader, and we're up against the whole cast of modern family." >> jimmy: oh, yeah. you're up against bill hader as well, right? >> yeah, but hader and i kind of had, like, this kinship. like -- >> jimmy: that's nice. he's a great guy. >> he's the best. and i ran into him. it was the first time meeting him, and we were kind of backstage or whatever.

and he was so wonderful. i'm a huge "saturday night live" fan. it was the theme of my bar mitzvah. [ laughter ] that's true. and -- >> jimmy: it really is true. in fact, i wanted to show everyone. you brought photos -- >> i did. >> jimmy: from max's bar mitzvah. it's "saturday night live" themed. this is your cake. >> that's true. >> jimmy: this is your cake. >> yeah, the blues brothers. >> jimmy: the blues brothers cake. [ laughter ] every centerpiece was a different cast member? >> yeah, this is the farley table. >> jimmy: that's the farley table right there. [ laughter ] farley and sandler. and this is a picture of you at your bar mitzvah. >> that's me at my bar mitzvah. >> jimmy: there he is right there. [ cheers ] happy bar mitzvah. [ applause ] >> so i ran -- you know, i ran into lorne michaels at -- which was a huge moment for me --e at the golden globes. you guys were sitting next to each other at the globes. and we were a couple tables over. and you know, when i talked to hader -- hader was like, "listen, if you ever see him. you got to tell him the story of the bar mitzvah." and my wife knew this. so all of the sudden we're at the globes. i see him a couple tables over. and i'm like, "i think i should

make a move and go tell him." my wife is like, "well, you've got to." so i keep looking over. you guys are just -- you guys are really working it out. you guys were really talking a lot. and i didn't want to come over and -- >> jimmy: working it out? >> i don't know. you guys were, like, really having, like, a whole discussion. >> jimmy: is that what you say when people talk to each other? >> this is what happens. you look over at this table, and jimmy and lorne are like this. and i was like, "i'm not going to go interrupt that." but you guys were in this for a long time. >> jimmy: well, we've known -- i've known him for, you know, 20 years. >> i know, but you guys were really engaged in some sort of conversation. and i'm like, "man, they're never going to stop this conversation." so at some point, you go backstage. >> jimmy: i don't know even what the hell we were talking about. you could have come over and said hi. >> i was too scared. >> jimmy: okay. >> so at some point, i was like -- you went backstage to present. and i was like, "all right, i'm going to make a move." i didn't even tell my wife. i didn't do anything. i get up, and i didn't -- and, like, you're lorne. and i do one of these. and this is not what you did to brian williams. this is a totally different thing. i do -- i do -- [ laughter ] and just kept on going.

and then, if you remember, on that side, it was like a cliff. >> jimmy: oh, there's a stage there. >> yeah, it was the whole -- i actually look over and go, "oh, god." >> jimmy: i have nowhere to go. >> i did the same exact move on the way back. [ laughter ] i come back to the table, and my wife had seen the whole thing. and meanwhile, you know, it was a very funny evening. i got dressed by tom ford, which is like the james bond tuxedo. >> jimmy: absolutely. >> i'm in the james bond tuxedo. and she's like, "that was the worst thing that i've ever seen you do." [ laughter ] and i'm sitting there in, like, this fancy, like, james bond -- and i'm like, "please, leave me alone. i don't want to talk about this. it was a really humiliating moment." >> jimmy: thank god for your wife and your mom. i mean, that's the people keeping you real. that's why -- i mean, we love you. and you're great. >> thank you. >> jimmy: and i want to show you on an episode of tomorrow night's episode of "new girl." here's max greenfield, everybody. look at this. >> excuse me? >> hey. >> please, tell me in front of holly how much you still love me. >> i'm sorry. is this why we came here? >> please, i don't really know what that accent is. >> english. >> i speak english. that didn't sound like english.

it will be my final request. i promise. so both of us n move on. i'd really like to move on. >> yeah, i get it. >> i'd like to move on all night long. >> okay, i get it. i'm only going to say this one more time. i always have and always will love you. >> jimmy: yeah, that's good stuff right there. max greenfield! "new girl" airs tuesdays at 9:00 p.m. on fox. eric burdon performs next! come on back! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is a rock legend known for his work with the animals, war and as a solo artist. his new album, "'til your river runs dry," will be in stores tomorrow. performing the song, "water," with a little help from the roots, please welcome eric burdon! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ this world is not for me i'll make a new one wait and see ♪ ♪ hopelessness has seized the land i will not beg i will demand ♪ ♪ i'll not give up

one day soon the truth will spill into your sitting room ♪ ♪ i said water water water to drink to put down the fire ♪ ♪ water water water the truth to shame the liar ♪ ♪ all right ♪ this world is not what it seems behind these eyes the curse of dreams ♪ ♪ will your god forgive you then or will mine take his revenge ♪ ♪ water water water to drink to put down the fire ♪ ♪ i cried water water water like these teardrops

from my eyes ♪ ♪ water water water from my eyes ♪ ♪ water water water teardrops from my eyes all right ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ the enemy does not know who the enemy is ooh ♪ ♪ i cried water water water to drink to put out the fire ♪ ♪ water water water the truth to shame the liar ♪

♪ i cried water water water to drink to put out the fire ♪ ♪ water water water like these teardrops from my eyes ♪ ♪ the enemy does not know who the enemy is yes lord i sing water water ♪ ♪ water yeah yeah i'm singin' oh oh water water water ♪ ♪ ♪ water water water the truth to shame the liar water ♪

[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, buddy. appreciate it. that's what i'm talking about. eric burdon! check out the album, "'til your river runs dry." eric burdon! visit latenightwithjimmyfallon.com for an exclusive bonus performance. you're gonna love it. my thanks to brian williams, max greenfield! [ cheers and applause ] eric burdon! [ cheers and applause ] and the greatest band in late night, the roots, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for "carson daly." thank you for watching! have a great night! hope to see you tomorrow! bye-bye! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

captions paid for by nbc-universal television captions by vitac www.vitac.com ♪ >> carson: hey, what's up guys and gals? carson daly coming to you from the roger room in west hollywood for tonight's "last call."